EGG has crowned me World's Best Wife after I presented him with my G--go karts. He's lucky I went ahead with the idea because he guessed it earlier in the week, and only a bit of nonchalance on my behalf threw him off the scent.
Driving over to the go kart track I was feeling a bit (quite a lot) nervous, visions of me lying unconscious on the track having caused a four kart pile up being at the forefront of my mind. But such is my commitment to showing EGG a great Alphabet Weekend, that I sucked it down and put on my brave face. EGG on the other hand could not contain himself, confidence in his driving ability and need for speed high on his agenda.
We got our compulsory licence (a labourious and stressful process that involved us writing our names, date of birth, signing it and handing over five bucks). We then collected Woolworths' deli attendant hairnets. Then we put on our full face helmets and became Darth Vader. Actually I was Darth Vader, EGG thought he was Michael Schumacher. I was stressed out about the germ factor and spent the next hour freaking out that I was going to catch the killer flu from the helmet.
So off we went for our 13 (they are precise about this) minute journey around the track after a kickstart from the support vehicle. Before I knew it I was on the track. Thank god I was second because I really wouldn't have known where to go. All I could think of was not running into the orange tyres because if I did I would be off the track--oh the disgrace.
So I pottered around, braking carefully into the corners, sticking to the outside so as not to get in anyone's way. Please don't let me crash the mantra I recited in my head.
EGG on the other hand had taken on his Michael Schumacher persona for real. He screamed past me and everyone else on the track, overtaking on corners, thundering down the straights until he crashed. I waved as I trundled past, taking it easy around the nasty turn.But then EGG was back on the track, and he screeched past me, cutting another driver off at the corner, but I was too busy to notice this until I plodded around the corner and saw that EGG has crashed again. I didn't wave this time, I had the steering wheel in a death grip.
Driver after driver crashed, but not me. I did a Steven Bradbury(Australian gold medal speed skater)--as they crashed out in front, I was the only one left--the winner (well I thought I was--careful driving cannot be under-rated).
All too soon (oh who am I kidding--it seemed to take forever) the 13 minutes was up and we returned to the pit. I pulled the germ ridden helmet off, shook off the attractive hair net and chalked go karting up as an experience (that I wasn't in a hurry to repeat). But EGG was--he'd booked in for another go and was mad keen to show what he could do.
Long story short, he nailed them (check him out in the photos). He burned the guts out of that little go kart as he drove like a man possessed trying to get in front of everyone (a bit like he drives on the M1). He took the hairpin curves at great speed, he gunned it so he wouldn't get behind the slow drivers (no they weren't as slow as me), he planted it down the straight. But there was one driver he couldn't catch. Turns out he had paid more for a fast kart, but EGG didn't know that.
"I think I should buy a go kart," he said as we drove home. Yeah, that's going to happen.
I hope I don't get the flu.
G is for Go Kart.
