A is for Avatar

We're back.

EGG and I have really missed our Alphabet Weekends so we've decided to start all over again, but this time we're swapping the letters.

So EGG had A and although I am being a wee bit critical here, the best he could come up with was A is for Avatar. OK, we went Gold Class, but haven't we already done that (H is for Harry Potter) and it was 3D but we've done that too (U is for U2). So a big fat F for originality for EGG.

But Avatar it was, so off we went for three hours of excitement and adventure courtesy of the imagination of James Cameron. We got cool glasses again. The picture is EGG modelling them. After three hours they got a bit annoying though.

Now EGG loved Avatar. Me not so much. It went on and on. And it was such a pity to see that lovely Sam Worthington all stretched out and blue. He looks much nicer when he's human. I will admit to getting a little bored about half way, asking EGG "How much longer?". He just laughed at me. I passed a bit of time taking my glasses on and off to see if they made that much difference (they did).

I don't get this movie. Sure the special effects are great, but it was sort of predictable. I wonder if lovely Sam will turn to the good side (durr). I wonder if the evil marine will get his comeuppance (double durr). Will the boy get the girl (triple durr).

What I find most fascinating about this movie though are all the blogs and forums that have popped up around the place concerned that we here on Earth will never experience life on Pandora (the setting of Avatar).

Imagine it, all of these depressed whackos, I mean people, sitting in front of their computers typing things such as:

When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed ... gray. It was like my whole life, everything I've done and worked for, lost its meaning

or

Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it."

I did not make any of the above quotes up. I cut and pasted them directly from the web. How scary is it that people can't differentiate between real life and a movie. And quite frankly I don't know why anyone would want to live on Pandora. Didn't do much for me with all that poisonous gas, but live and let live I suppose (although some of you Avatar bloggers really should consider therapy of some sort).

EGG was impressed by the 3D effects, they were OK, but the movie could have survived without it (oh that's right you could choose 3D or not 3D versions). There was a nice theme about colonisation that could have been a lesson for all of those European countries about 300 years ago. So don't let me put you off.

By the way if you're interested there is an Na'vi language that is set to replace Klingon as the language of choice of nerds. Guess what this means? “Kaltxì. Ngaru lu fpom srak?” No idea? It means "Hello, how are you going?" There's grammar and syntax and stuff like conjugated verbs in the Na'vi language. Someone's actually written a user's compendium. And I think I've got too much time on my hands.

A is for Avatar.

O is for Outdoor Cinema

Does anyone out there remember the movie The Wedding Planner? No surprises if you don't (it was pretty forgettable), but there is one scene in it that really stuck with me. Jennifer Lopez met up with Matthew McConaughey at the open air cinema in Central Park. It was a beautiful scene, with people reclining on blankets under the stars while a black and white Audrey Hepburn film played on the screen. So now you have my chick flick inspiration for dragging EGG off to the outdoor cinema for our O weekend.

The evening didn't start well. We traipsed from our far and distant carpark to the venue only to find we'd left our money behind. Well EGG left the money behind, but I said not a thing (my happy face glued in place), even when he came back much later and the movie had already begun.

The venue for this outdoor cinema was New Farm Park, a really lovely setting by the river in the middle of Brisbane. Despite the drought there are beautiful trees and vast lawns. Except for bit where the outdoor cinema is located. They must have called in thirty rugby teams to play on that patch of grass because it was the roughest, most decrepit bit of lawn in Brisbane. The "grass" expanse was surrounded by high wire fencing so the setting was actually more prison exercise yard than romantic movie venue. The only thing missing was the razor wire.

My Jennifer/Matthew moment was but a memory by now as we tried to get comfortable on the grass. Quite possibly the only thing that might have saved the evening was a decent slug of wine, but no that wasn't going to happen either because they closed the bar when the movie started--and we were late.

I was a bit devastated because I had the good/bad conscience wrestle about whether or not I should sneak some wine in and unfortunately good (and consequently sober) won. It's such a shame because a friend of mine had given me the best strategy. She told me that she smuggles her sauv blanc in via her children's waterbottles. She has even trained them to slug a mouthful back without flinching should an overzealous security guard try to examine the contents. I love this woman because she always gets her wine, but mostly because she is a very, very bad mother which makes me look like a very, very good one.

The movie, No Reservations, was really, really bad. Do not under any circumstances see this movie, don't even rent it on dvd. I have a gauge for assessing the shockingness of movies and that is the pillow fight scene. Any movie that has a pillow fight scene is automatically a dud. Don't know why, but they all are. Scriptwriters out there take note of my advice--if you want your movie to sink faster than the Titanic, then include a pillow fight. Don't say you haven't been warned.

EGG actually groaned when at the pillow fight scene. He'd had enough by this time and whined about how much longer we had to stay there. They haven't broken up yet, I whispered to him. Oh yeah, and the kid's got to run away, he replied. Keep in mind that neither of us had seen this load of rubbish before, it was just such a predictable movie. So within about half an hour they split up and the kid ran away. Surprise, surprise they got back together and (this is the bit you probably didn't see coming) they lived happily ever after.

We started packing up before the last big pash filled the screen.

I hope they use some of that $14 entry fee to buy some fertiliser for the grass.

O is for Outdoor Cinema.

H is for Harry Potter

Isn't EGG clever? He combined two of my favourite things in life--a trip to the movies and drinking wine. But I'm ahead of myself.


I was slightly underwhelmed when EGG announced that Harry Potter was my H, but then he followed throught with the magic words "Gold Class" and I was all aflutter.

I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that I had never been to Gold Class before. Before I joined the Gold Class Club (GCC) I will own up to perpetuating those misconceptions about GCC that float around like "why would I pay 35 bucks for something I can see for half that price" and "it can't be that good" and "what a fuss--it's just a flash chair in a movie theatre" and I'm here to tell you that I was wrong, wrong, wrong.

It is that good and it is worth double the money and it's so much more than a chair--it's an experience.

So for more than 2 hours, EGG and I luxuriated in the plush armchairs, legs resting on footstools, bottle of wine at the ready and snacks at our beck and call (check out the picture). This is how movies are meant to be viewed.

So if you hear anyone tell you that GCC is too dear and really isn't that good, then you know they've never actually been there.

Oh and the movie was good too.

H is for Harry Potter.